Leader

My natural state is leadership
not for me
to be a follower
my natural state is leadership

When existence is in flames
inside and out
not for me 
to panic
to trample over others
for me
to stay calm in mind
with cool waters
douse the fire
lead
my fellow mates
put in the same place
by a temporal accident
the same time, the same space
the same air -
lead them away
away from danger
to live and fight
another day.

My natural state is leadership
even when I am 
of a clouded mind
a dull, tired body
pushed back by fear
and trepidation
fear I drink 
in my daily coffee
fear paid to me
by my mortgage
fear attached to me
by my possessions
fear my gains
have given me
fear of consequences
of actions
fear of not knowing
the right label
the right politics
fear of not knowing
if left is right
or right is right
fear that not knowing
is the fear
fear that there is
not enough time
to evaluate
to ponder
to know
till I know
there is not enough time
fear
of inaction
of pussillanimity.

My natural state is leadership
I cannot but act
with blind eyes
and sharp vision
I must act
for being a leader
has consequences
and so does not being
everything has consequences
it is a maze of cause 
and effect
a complex maze
of butterfly effects
but I must act
in the hope
that a butterfly
has my name
vanity perhaps
but I must act
Act
as a leader needs
to face the view
the open vista
the hissing caldera
the open battlefield
to lead troops into
a clear horizon
to promise.

Not for the leader
to be another number
to be forgotten easily
in that everlasting
brief moment of history
For the leader
to face the first bullet
or seem to do so
and if not dead
to be known 
as the one
the one
not to fight
what cannot be fought
to accept
in wisdom
or in foolishness
accidents of random
arrangement of genes
of space time and fellow beings
the natural state
of leadership
Fire within and without!
Fire within and without! ©Amitabh Trehan

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